helenwin It’s time to stand up for the kitchen apron! It got a bad rap in the 70’s as a potent symbol of female domestic slavery. To this I say: “Bah humbug!” Outdated paradigms begone! Why should I deprive myself of this practical household accoutrement just to keep some ageing feminist from crying into her chai … Read more
My house used to seem really, really BIG, but that was when all five kids were knee-high to a grasshopper. Now that they have quite selfishly and inconsiderately grown UP into large-size human beings, things feel really, really SMALL around here, especially around Christmas. Home they come, by plane, train, or automobile, washing in over … Read more
I once worked for a fellow devotee of the written word who was not just a librarian but the daughter of a librarian. One day she saw me holding Laura Ingalls Wilder’s “Little House On The Prairie,” and, clutching my elbow, exclaimed: “I once sat on a plane next to Garth Williams!” I can honestly … Read more
My children are NUTS. They are obsessed with my triceps, or actually the jiggly skin on the back of my upper arm where my triceps should be. They’re teenagers, for heaven’s sake! It’s been YEARS since they used me as a jungle gym, life preserver, or nerf gun target–often simultaneously. Yet there they are. Pouncing on … Read more
Leap Year took off at my house in May, when Swoosh graduated from the University of Leaps and Bounds and began cutting an entrepreneurial swath through the Seattle music scene with an alacrity that did not surprise Old Mother in the least. In early June, Penrod did his own victory lap at Blessed High School, … Read more
Yes, they do it, each in his or her own inimitable way, even the ones who don’t really live here anymore. Now you personally may feel that your children mistake you for a wallet or a refrigerator, and yes, that does occur here at Hacienda Helena and I have to admit not that all that … Read more
Some things we used to do seems like you don’t see a lot of anymore these days–games we used to play, ones that used hand/eye coordination, like jacks, or jumprope, or clapping games, accompanied by chants, or singing. And singing–we did a lot of that. We sang at school and at camp, at church and … Read more
Penrod screeches to a halt in the freezer section and throws a sixty-four count box of chicken taquitos into the cart. He blasts off again, sparks flying. I scramble to keep up, but the playing field is not level because I am wearing heels. Just as I draw even, he stops again, so I overshoot. … Read more
November 27, 2014. Wow. It’s almost the end of November! As we careen headlong into the Great Holiday Trifecta I suddenly realize this means that the school year has started. Yes, Old Mother is a bit slow on the uptake. And although I do recall filling out a Jogathon envelope recently, and also giving a … Read more
Old Mother’s Radical Blueprint for Healthcare Reform (2009) October 2009: Sometimes the best way to deal with something is through humor. So in the interest of keeping my blood pressure way, way down, I proudly present herewith, heretofore, and hereunder, a non-partisan/bi-partisan/post-partisan (did I cover all the bases?) bill for your consideration. It’s already made … Read more